Everything is fine, until it’s not: Family Update from Tara B.

Last year a few of our families shared their stories of child abuse. This year, they have shared updates about how their families continue to cope. We’re in awe of their courage. We thank them for sharing their biggest hearts with each and every family who reaches out to us.

It has been a few years now since our lives were turned upside down. In many ways things have gotten easier, time has passed, outside injuries have healed.

Often it is just those feelings of fear, and guilt hit me in waves.

She was a little over 1 when this happened to her, to us. She shouldn’t remember but I am afraid she might.

Last year I was driving her to her swimming lessons and out of know where she tells me that she remembers a monster hurting her head. She tells me not to worry because she is big now and she would fight the monster away. It’s all I can do to keep driving and assure her. I tell her that she is right she is big and strong now. She doesn’t need to worry about that monster anymore as the police took her far away.

This last week was a tough week. There was lots of crying at a drop off a hat. She was often inconsolable. So now we are tracking it to see if this is “normal” behavior or something that is because of this past trauma which will have us delve back in. Is it time for therapy or not?

It is so hard to not question yourself. I am sure people think, why aren’t you over this yet? But should I really be over this, our daughter was tortured and almost died. Would you get over this? Yes, she is better and you can’t tell she was hurt from the outside. It does not change the horror of the past and I am still unsure of our future. So I continue to not be over this yet and frankly I am not sure I will ever be. Thankfully we are a strong family and I know we can get through anything. We have a great support network of family and friends. Hopefully by sharing our story we can offer some support to others.

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